How to Write a Speech for Your Parents' 40th Anniversary

A 40th anniversary speech from a son or daughter is really a speech about a marriage you grew up inside. You have a vantage point no one else in the room has - four decades of watching these two people up close - and that's what the speech should draw on.

Speak from what you witnessed

You saw the ordinary version of their marriage - who made the coffee, how they argued and made up, what they did in the hard years. Those details are more moving than 'forty wonderful years.'

Name the family it produced

Forty years didn't just make a marriage; it made a family with its own jokes, traditions, and way of being. A line acknowledging that everyone in the room exists or gathers because of these two is the emotional center.

Include one honest note about the work

Forty years includes hard stretches. A brief, respectful acknowledgment that it wasn't always easy - and that they stayed anyway - means more than pretending it was effortless.

Example close (about 30 seconds)

'Forty years ago you promised each other something you couldn't fully understand yet. The rest of us have had a front-row seat to what keeping that promise actually looks like - and it looks like patience, and humor, and not keeping score. Thank you for the example. To Mom and Dad - forty years, and counting.'

Length

Three to five minutes. Coordinate with any siblings also speaking so you're not repeating stories.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say in a 40th wedding anniversary speech?

Speak from your vantage point as their child - the ordinary details of their marriage you witnessed - acknowledge the family those forty years built, note honestly that it took real work, and close on a toast to them both.

How long should a parents' anniversary speech be?

Three to five minutes, shorter if siblings are also speaking. Coordinate so stories aren't repeated.

What is the 40th anniversary called?

The ruby anniversary - a red or ruby-themed detail can be a nice touch in the speech or the toast.

See anniversary speech guide and golden (50th) anniversary speech.